afterall .

feel like talking much todayy . don’t really know why , maybe its holiday ?
anyways , sharing is caring =) so , just listen =)

i think my pms started too soon this month , but im really stress of everything , or nearly everything .

‘ve been a big spender recently and im seriously worried that imma ‘ve not enough fund for the KL trip . maybe , just enough . but u know ~ comparing to Bruneii , KL is much like a shopping HEAVEN . without enough $$ , meaning no shopping . it’s a super sad thing .
At this time , im thinking . why am i not rich family kids ?

Days in office suck to the core . im bored and doing nothing most of the time . my phone was always in my hand . chatting , fb , twitter , blogreading and blablashitt . i always fished in the early morning , and i guess my boss already knew about it . i couldn’t pay enough attention on the work assigned to me , yes i finished it in time just ~ u know , delay delay delay until the last minute . when i get bored , i always slacking around fb like almost every 10mins although i ‘ve told myself a billion times there s nth to see .

Open web – bookmark – facebook – view home page – nth – exit . after *5-10mins* repeat again . =s

Say , if im the boss , i’d have probably sack ‘ this ‘ worker no matter how high efficiency she was . sometimes u really get upset much when u tried to impressed your boss by doing works nice and fast but they never appreciated it .

I’ve got a job opportunity , i guess . a better salary which is better for my future if i really wanted to study . but , i don’t think i can simply just give 1month notice and leave like that . im not saying im kind but think of it . if i leave here , how are they going to get compatible with their works ? im doing like nearly 90% of the works , how m i gonna pass the job to someone else in a month ? it sounds like a little irresponsible but the whole world is telling me : who cares ? neither you care if none is appreciating .

Who doesn’t get fed up when u work for almost 3years with no increment ?

AND , i really she bu de the to quit the job here . too relaxing and the 3.30 ! its like , a loadssssssssss moreee than others =s i’ve got moreeee time to slack ~ sleep ~ daydreaming ~ and EXERCISES ! aiya , sometimes i just think maybe i should just stop complaining and just stay ! live my life enjoy and relax with no challenge . wait for a rich guy drops from the sky marry him and be a Shao Nai Nai . dreaming much ? lols .

Think of my family future makes me stress , my mum’s just a typical housewife who has not working since the age of 20+ . IF , im not going to study , how am i gonna support my family future ? when my dad retires ? to buy a house for them ? to let them enjoy and take good care of them ? like how ? they always adore my bro much but he s just such a ermm , u know ~ spoilt , not clever type , immature , a form 4 student who doesn’t even wash his own plate and iron his own uniform . 茶来伸手，饭来张口..
aiks .

what moree if i go for a course . what course shud i take ? CAT ‘d be the best choice bcz……hmm girls = accountant ? seriously i don’t think im interested in accounts and too i don’t know whether if im capable to study account . i’ve failed it 5years straight in highschool =s i didn study for it yea , so ? i cannot guarantee also whether IF i can pass even IF i study for it ?
lols .
thinking of going KL , since its much cheaper there . but , living costs and expenses ? and , the life there + my personality ? lols , i’ve already got a picture of me shaking my ass off saying Eyyy Ohhh ~ !
ahems .
back to topic .
i told my mum about my plan few days ago . roughly about im going blabla , if cheap blabla , den i might need them support me a little blabla . and tadaaaa , she continued with her eyes on tv without any expression nor a single word just like she never knows im talking to her .
great ~ !
so what now ?

Many has asked me to study what im interested with if i really going to . but , as a Gemini , can say apa apa i pun ada hengchu LOLS . to choose one , interior design maybe ?

I like art , but i don’t think im creative enough . design is not like account or computing or business or whatever . those for me are like , even u’re not talented , just put more effort and study study study like no theres no tmr . as long as u put more hard work on it.

But design ? i don’t really know how it goes but what if one day they asking for creative and inspire doesn’t come to you ? and , brunei don have this special course for interior design ? ada ~ technical school speaking that only Yellow and Red IC has the chance to be chosen .

Life’s been really stress as we peeps grow up each day . responsibility comes to you no matter what . although me myself , i , always complaint that my parents don’t pay enough attention on me or don’t care me like they did to my sister and brother .

Still , seeing my dad comes home late with the tiring face makes me grief , thinking he wouldn have to so xin ku if im capable enough . My mum married to my dad when she was still at my age . she had actually wasted her youth to take care of we siblings . and yet we ‘re not still not able to full sponsor her even on a simple vacation ?

If only Neverland does exist .

Lols . suddenly feel whats with the emotional .
PMS , u just fucked me up .
Anyways , hope everything goes smooth .

Be strong peeps =)
xoxo .