Days 64

It had been almost a week and yea i guessed that should be the end.

Who was the girl who had your heart?

How fast she fills up the empty room in yours ^^"

sincerity is always been doubted but not urs. comments never reach each other consent.
Never did mutually
It's utterly grieved.

Aiks.
Doubt here doubt there~
human nature comes and goes.

But at least for once, im doubting myself.
For once, did u ever ?

Speechless
so ennn..it ends
=)

Whatsoever

still heart as i really do, friend.

Care's~

Night Of Chivas ♥

As i expected, we didn manage to have DimSum, postpone to next Saturday. so ummm... K-Box. Everyone is insanely in love with it now. i mean those bunch of gays ^^''' Its so lovely for seeing them come out purposely just to go K-Box.

Its hilarious ?

they never fail to make me laugh ♥

xxx

Maybe the disturbance is not around. i enjoyed my night =)
hiong hiong laii drink.. yup i desperate need it for some sort of soothing.
as expected, instantly turn red and high in just a sip.
woofer bang bang in the head, nice ~

tho i tried to drunk myself and get as wild as i could. but yea...im not allowed with it.

im not drunk, i really not.

still.
im just not in the mood.
constantly thinking

: Are you alright ? =|

xxx

Its last day of Sales so ennn....went shopping just now.
got a msg said : Im going out to Sing K, lets join.

sweet + sweat ^^''

Its hilarious ?
stupid. keep repeating those words after affected.

words of the week !

Sing Sing and Sing.
I guess its fun =)

xxx

Fine..
just cant stop thinking about it
its like finally.
but everything just doesnt match the picture.

im sorry ? im not sorry ?
i dont know how.
i only can say every pp have their unique point of view.
They see thing in different sight. They judge it with different feeling. They deal it with different way.

seeing that, tho you will understand im not trying to judge who s right who s wrong.
It doesnt matter about win or lose.
its only matter about how much i heart it and im trying hard to communicate.

its too late.
No matter how it going to be.
i shall appreciate what i having now and heart it as more as i can.

step by step, we're walking toward the end of the story.
how many step left ? idk.
i always hope there will be a U-turn for us.

i would if i could.
but guessed this is never gonna be trustable by uu.


=)
im ok.

Days 49

What’s this feeling?
I don’t wanna care yet i kept thinking about it.
I wanna end this with nothing left between us but it always fail.
Don’t want to see you sad but im always the one who’s causing it.

The trust i put on you just not enough, but at the same moment i was actually hoping you to trust me and give me sometime.
Emm.. like how you can do it since u already gave me about 2weeks to get over it?
I wonder what makes i think im so important to you that you can sacrifice for me once and once again, but me? I had done nothing.
Wondering how much more you would go for me.

End it is the best way but my heart is aching when i have this thought in mind.
For your sake, i shall think it on your side. u wasted too many time on me, is that worth? what should i do? Aren’t there any better way?

It seems like i heart it more than i expected.
But yea, its too late.
Perhaps the chemistry within us had changed?
Hope not.

God knows how much i miss you.

i didn crash the car

im back.
hmm....today is memorable.
for 1year 7months and 14days
today is the 1st time i kena road blocked, alone!
Showing my license and IC to the police and answer them those Official Question makes me feel like

Im.So.Adult

*winks*

and yea ~ their math sucks!
by showing my IC, there shud be a birth date right ?
1989 - 2009
obviously its 20years since there's both 9 as last number, i think even Michelle can do the counting
BUT
the police said:

Ohh~ sudah 21 ka..... bah ~ balik rumah lah.

HELLO ?!! as in 30secs before i just told him that i JUST came out from my RUMAH.

Fucktard yo !
zzzz whatever!!!

xxx

driving here n ther pointlessly is super boring. but super relax as well.
been living in brunei for 20years, what a shame
IM LOST.
in somewher gdg.

i drove along the highway off to Gdg. I dont know why i go there, its just...a must go, walaupun its already 2am and Bii Buu Bii Buu everywher ==zz sweat.
So yea i tot i can emm go ummmmm......the highway beside The Arch of the bigbig roundabout there.. =) but then i turned to the highway leading me to Seri instead.
mainly because i forgot there's no u-turn at highway, just trying to see the Sui Car.
but pp li hai~ sport car laii de~ win all~ pek dai me ther~ hai i butt oso didn bio dao but pusing a big round. Fuck the car, cp! till 1st branch eh..who pays for my petrol!

along the highway agen n yea i saw the roundabout and yeap turn left right to reach another roundabout in expectation. but then umm i saw many houses replacing those car galary which suppose to be seen.

dono why agen i didn follow the way back at 1st but pusing around the small road. yahoooo! im lost yiipeeeeeeeeeee! mummy~
IM SCARED OK. Its dark T__T.
feel like calling him for help le BUT my stupid pride stopped me.
Just My Luck, dont know why agen i suddenly pop out from somewher and back to the way where i wanted to be.

Heading back weehee.
Saw the bridge~ and yeap the turn left sign agen. It leads to Rimba there so why not xb
*Signboard - Tungku*
Yea baby~ i know this place well. the humps make me sasak.
1hump/50m = _l_
suan ~ lets go beach or empire.
Stopped at roadside, *thinking beli carefully* as if i know the way or not. i dont wanna get lost, i still wan my stupid pride. nvm~ go home den.
back to Jln Muara as well as My Di Pan n i turned in every simpang that i spotted a nice house, till mine <3

2hours of driving trip. end.

^^

原来，
没有抱着任何希望的等，
比先前满怀期待的等待，
更伤人。

期待换来的只是失望，
没有希望换来的比失望还要....失望。

33

So we're reali walking to the end?
Calendar is not full yet.. Lots of alien language is written down on it for memories...hen sweet...hen nice....but actually it has been only ♥♥days.

Sad.

I dont want us to end it this way.. How much i wish that we could hold on a lil longer.
I just need somemore time to get rid of this cacated mood. Mensus is comin soon so yea~

what can i do? What else can i say to 've u back.
God knows how much i miss you..

><
still hearts as i reali do.

Cracking

stop thinking lots can?
Need chocosssss desperately to soothe the mood.

I need dark chocolates..
T T

sigh~ i shall stop thinking now or else this emo-ing gonna last whole september. Get myself exhausted is perfectly siok yo, atleast i would stop thinking at that moment but yea, get back to reality aint easy. What if u found that u're still facing the same situation, same tone, same atmosphere ^^"
sasaknya~

been watching youtube these 2days. those dance vids~ i miss it.
Miss that guy who used to pick me home and bought me my beloved coffee. Miss that someone who always by my side tahan-ing my murmur with his smile. Miss those dance troop peeps. Yea my bad, had gave up the chances to go back to dem. Im too old to high with those muiimuii and heard he s not there le ba? where he goes?

My head is effing ache now, wanna get high. lallala~

Talking bout high, i guess i reali 'chi ji guo du' sotx le.. I wanna had liquor like i always did with babe's. Wanna try soak k to experience the feeling of walking in space with no gravity. Wanna had pills and feng my head nonstoply shouting WOOOHOOOO! Flirt dance with some cuties~ ONS with dem and prepare to get slap till i totally awake.

gosh~ feel like smoking so much.

Slap me can?

Im way too much over.
I love them.
But since when i cant satisfied with this kind of life. tehteh, play, play, tehteh, tehteh agen and play.
No no~ i wanna bang pp car so badly. Crash their mirror, flat their tyres. Yahoo~! y i so bad?

He drives fast while we otw back yest. As i suddenly wished that i could drive myself make it full speed and drive 'toward' the tree ^^
weeeheee~

wonder who 'll come visit me in the hospital ho, or perhaps funeral.. Hmm~ will dem cry? How funny to see 'em cry lols..

Insanity is too high.
Love being a weirdo.

I just need somemore care and love from you and anything will do.

Atm, i see nothing.

=)
hearts u much.

sad-the-day

=)
Its saturday.

Weeheee~ im hanging myself with my mood.
dying soon.
Please listen carefully to my last word.


PLEASE
SAVE ME !!!!!!!!!!

i don wanna die yet.

im still learning. xD
Atleast i just learned to how to emmmmmm tolerate ^^

whatsoever.
Feel like blogging but nothing to update tho.
Gonna get some DVD and watch, and the currently movie in mind is ~~~~~
TADAA
IM LEGEND !

zz
ee ~ arnahhs old school jiu old school
NI GUAN WO!

wait dem pick me up luu~
i'll enjoy my night, so do uu..
im sorry.
=)

xxx

edited
Just 've aiixing test

如果你失戀了，你去傷心診所治療，你會接受哪一種治療呢？

ans: 2.催眠你讓你釋放

你的感情容易因為「對方的熱度降低」而告吹。
沒有安全感的你一旦對方行為舉止有異狀，你就會胡思亂想產生誤會：這類型的人一但發現另一半比較冷淡或者愛理不理，亦或是手機沒有接...等等就會開始胡思亂想。

thats wher i up to now ?
lolx
fucktard~

♪♪ It's Like This (This) It's Like That (That)
I Got Dough (Dough) I Got Stacks (Stacks)
I Can't Buy Anything That I Need (Need)
But I Gotta Have U 4 Free
I Ain't Neva Paid 4 It In My Life (My Life)
So Why The Hell Would I Pay 4 A Wife (Wife)
I Need Luv (Luv) Yes I Do (Do)
But This Is Wat I Need From U

Ooh A Brother Need Luv And Affection
A Brother Need TLC
And I Talkin Bout Chilli (Chilli)
But I'll Take Chilli If She Want It
Ooh A Brother Need Cookin And Cleanin
And When She Say She Luv Me She Mean It
Her Insides Pretty (Pretty)
Hey Hey Hey

And If That's U (U)
Blow Me A Kiss (Kiss) 2 Let Me Know (Know)
If U Feelin Me U Can Do Better (Hey)
Than That Scrub That U With (Than Scrub That U With)
Baby All That U Gotta Do (Gotta Do) Is Blow Me A Kiss
Hey Hey
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss

I'm Bout This (This)
I'm Bout That (That)
I Had Hoes (Hoes)
(I Spent Stacks) Stacks
I've Had Everything In My Life (My Life)
But I'm a Have U Tonight
Yeah I'm a Have U... U...
I Need Luv (Luv) Yes Indeed (Deed)
But This Is Wat U Get From Me (From Me)

Ooh I'm a Give U Luv And Direction
U Can Be My? I Ain't Talkin Bout Thriller (Thriller)
But I Could Be Your Thriller If U Want It
Ooh I Don't Need No Cookin And Cleanin
We Can Get A Maid If We Need It
Cause I'm On My Brizz-ed (Brizz-ed)
Hey Hey Hey

And If That's U (U)
Blow Me A Kiss (Kiss) 2 Let Me Know (Know)
That U Diggin Me (Diggin Me) U Can Do Better (Hey)
Than That Scrub That U're With (Than Scrub That U're With)
Baby All That U Gotta Do (Gotta Do) Is Blow Me A Kiss
Hey Hey
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss ♪♪

Git Fresh - Blow Me A Kiss

fuck you <3

I'll Never Let You Go <3

If i had one wish boy
i'd wished u next to me
and it could be in summer fall or spring boy
cos u make my heart sing

i want to give my heart, my soul, my love to u my baby
and everyday im not with u im missing you like crazy~

i need for you to

love me~
hold me~
touch me~

down deep in my soul
never let it go
For the love we share, no one compares to u.
I'll never let you go, cos i reali love u so~
i'll never let u go~

mm~

you must know the truth boy, im nothing without uu.
Its funny how i know what pp mean boy
when its too good to be truth

u give me joy, good love, good times
such happiness~ ooh yeahh yeahh
and everyday i thank the lord for you
i feel so blessed !

I need for ya~

if u only knew, what you reali do
i had never found a one that does it quite like u do
i've been spend half a life time try to find one like you.
Thats why im so glad i found u babe

i wished upon a star and it came true
darling~ i need for you....

<3

=)

It just wont stop
its been awhile that i last cry so badly.

Im tired of waiting le.
But what i do is wait wait wait and another disappointment.
Why the fuck am i doing dis.

Seems like we both can clearly understand now whos the one who was actually playing with this.
Can u trust me now?
When can i trust you?

It would be the next morning when you see this.
and yeap, i shud be ok when time by then.

=)
just too down atm.

T__________________T

ouch. leg si beh pain can.

gonna get myself a new shoes 1st instead of getting a new phone.
ouchhie ~
T__T tong tong.

booo! si beh alasan.
okay, im not dreaming.
i reali saw my lappy that day. but then according lai's statement,

its still cacat !

So yeap, new lappy is wanted T______T
bei ai ~ im si beh broke le nahs. guo fen !

so umm ~ probably gonna take that ACER

- $1000++
- 3years warranty
- emm, dono who said its mainly for gaming !

SIGH !

fucktard.. =___________________________________=


wanna play GG.
but no pp pei. sad
Dear goes for the bball. they 2 ther playing cha pa lang psp games.
He's having seriious match now.

eee ~
sien de wor.

xxx

wan shopping no money
wan buy phone no chance
wan buy lappy no money
wan buy shoes no nice de
wan go seria no pp bring
wan play no pp pei

wan fuck got pp not !
come la !
cp.
what a day !

ouchie~ T___________T

sniff.

look at the time now and im still wide awake.

fucktard.

Seriously, i NEED to sleep now to prevent from becoming a deadmeat tomoro.
Geez..

Had too much nescafe recently and my sickness is started to fa zuo agen. Not so often but just now ? thats why i wake up ?

日有所思，夜有所梦

been thinking too much and ee dream something bad.
maii maii ~ shooo.
i dont like that feeling.

mood is down. It went up abit, and fell again lols.
Because im too siens ><
Siens till i think dao i'll be more siens later den i geng geng siens !!

shud try to sleep soon. Its 4.30am yo

><

Hearts much much, Hugs tight tight
xoxo

sigh.

Why mood can swings so fast de.

The more u expect the more u get hurt.
Shudn expecting so much de, see what im like now?
A super dump idiot

blogging is certain nice to spare tots. But then, wat would u do if u dont want that someone noe but yet they do read ur blog..
Maii blog?

but kek zhe reali beli xin ku neh~ specially when u 've no one to speak with..

SIGH !!

Yet i heard, my lappy is okay now. That shud bring me a lil comfort.

Heartx is fallen