emo sia xs

Im gonna start whining again. =s

Anyways. The so called boyfriend is now named Ex =)
Nth much to say.
Its like a win-lose relation.
I lost something, i gained something.
But im not regret for what i lost.
Because of this relation. I finally get clear of which position where im suppose to be. =)
i learned how to be content with one’s situation =p

Its not a really bad things ey ~ ^^
Although it’s a little hurt. I mean erm reeeeally hurt.
However, i can see the maturity is increasing
My brain atleast working =D
It tells me, i cannot blast like before
It tells me,
It could be the end of us.
which helps nothing.
No i don want to, the loves are more than i thought.
I were once thinking its ok, i could’ve just walked away from whom i love.
I would have just started another life.
Obviously,
I really cherish our relation.
Although, he doesn’t seem like he cares anymore.
Perhaps, he never does.

=s

Thinking about past.
All those crazy memories.
Those stupiest things i’ve ever done to get the attention lols.
I think i just way too lack of security.
i was hoping that if they do care, if we do fren, if they do love me.

Maybe,
they will talk about it to me.
Maybe,
they will ask me to stop behaving like that.
Maybe,
I would’ve more cares from’em.

But its too wrong
What i get in return, it’s the hatred and despises.

Haha.

But as a best friend, as an old friend.
Its too over tho.
Its not good when u hear from a stranger about ur bad things.
Trust me, it feels suuuuuuper sucks

Because u know, its spread by ur loved one.

Because u know, he chose to keep silent from you, he chose to act like he doesn’t care.
But in the back, you’re just like a piece of shit to him. A very stink one.
That he can tell someone, a stranger. Told that stranger lots about you. Tell Mr.Stranger that you’re such a disgrace.

Ouchh ~

Actually, its ok if that outsiders knew about it.
It’s the fact that cannot be denied. I did. I flirt. =)
what i mind the most is your act ey.
we’re friend, a good one, used to be =s
what’s your feeling when you telling ?
do you feel a bit guilty ? just a little ?
and after so long i thought u don’t care, somemore because its still consider out of your business
but its not, you mind actually, you’ve got a lot to speak. Just that i didn hear it from you but others.
well, it hurts me. a lots. and what hurts most is. i still love you =s

In fact, everyone makes mistake, im trying to change now.
I know that bad memories are always hard to erase.
But serious, im trying to do something to save ?
Im trying to change.
I really hope that someday, that i’ll have the guts to tell you.

Please,. We’re friend, remember ?