September Ended

Gosh.
Im dying.

Heart is utterly pain.
Feel cramp cramp deii since i woke up yesterday morning, i tot its gonna be ok since it happens quite a few times recently.

no no~

its getting more serious ==
kiu dao i can't even move barely can breath. lols im scared.
Feel so much regret that i shud listen to the doctor mustnt have too much coffee and don over sport.
I admit im having too much coffee recently but i didn over sport worr =(

after resting, im getting much better. but hmm still kiu kiu deii, pain pain deii~ but ok luu..at least can breath, sit beli guai-ly at my place =) im worried.
Im'ma gonna die in any second T T.. Blessed me.
Omitohut haliluuya.

After few hours later. September is gonna end as well as my emo-ness =)
im cheering up xb
so biitch.. i noe u worried but im not acting happy im just trying to be happy. maii stupid oOo

si beh eng again.
Was playing with the minesweeper but keep losing T T damn not vista.. diu~

Emily had resigned =)
she said she hasn't been reali taking a good care on her daughter, its time for her to takes the responsibility for being a good mother.
How sweet~

ennn..positive thinking comes automatically when u're in a good mood ^^

so~ why not xD
drinking my beloved coffee again, sigh.. Its not good to health wat. Why u just dont listen kan?


byeee september~!



care's MoMo~ <3

Blackout

No current ? No water ?
Which one is preferable ?

Sigh~
The blackout just now reali scared me out..
Was alone in the room and *pooof* it became super dark, i can't reach my phone no where T T
yelling for mummy but no one hears me.
sad.

Since my hse area is the soi-est area. Never once blackout is without us so yea, tot its gonna be as usual blackout till morning ==ll

Aunt brought us to had DQ and Pizza *loved*

off to tehtehh~
got a msg from mama around 12 mentioned that its back to normal ^^
nice~
at least this time he's doesnt need to puutpuut me whole night in case i didn sleep well =)
yea....true.
Since when i can't see what he had done good for me, sigh~

im sowiii~

i'll be good *winks*

Night Of Chivas ♥

As i expected, we didn manage to have DimSum, postpone to next Saturday. so ummm... K-Box. Everyone is insanely in love with it now. i mean those bunch of gays ^^''' Its so lovely for seeing them come out purposely just to go K-Box.

Its hilarious ?

they never fail to make me laugh ♥

xxx

Maybe the disturbance is not around. i enjoyed my night =)
hiong hiong laii drink.. yup i desperate need it for some sort of soothing.
as expected, instantly turn red and high in just a sip.
woofer bang bang in the head, nice ~

tho i tried to drunk myself and get as wild as i could. but yea...im not allowed with it.

im not drunk, i really not.

still.
im just not in the mood.
constantly thinking

: Are you alright ? =|

xxx

Its last day of Sales so ennn....went shopping just now.
got a msg said : Im going out to Sing K, lets join.

sweet + sweat ^^''

Its hilarious ?
stupid. keep repeating those words after affected.

words of the week !

Sing Sing and Sing.
I guess its fun =)

xxx

Fine..
just cant stop thinking about it
its like finally.
but everything just doesnt match the picture.

im sorry ? im not sorry ?
i dont know how.
i only can say every pp have their unique point of view.
They see thing in different sight. They judge it with different feeling. They deal it with different way.

seeing that, tho you will understand im not trying to judge who s right who s wrong.
It doesnt matter about win or lose.
its only matter about how much i heart it and im trying hard to communicate.

its too late.
No matter how it going to be.
i shall appreciate what i having now and heart it as more as i can.

step by step, we're walking toward the end of the story.
how many step left ? idk.
i always hope there will be a U-turn for us.

i would if i could.
but guessed this is never gonna be trustable by uu.


=)
im ok.

=)

Trying my best to keep smiling and i found that i did it pretty well as the sky looks much more prettier now
=)

xxx

Had bought a bottle of JD and Chivas as well as dozen of Carlsberg for tomorrow night.
They have already drank some just now at D.L's place but don't know why, im still not in the mood.
i tot everything should be ok since i wasnt alone no more.
Maybe someone makes me feel disturbance and yea. Im stucked in my own world again.

Its ok =)
im alright..

Just enn...smile =)

xxx

Tomorrow s the Night Of Chivas ♥.
Its gonna be fun, yea.
so enn....just 've fun and throw all those ba, hopefully..

Plan to go Dynasty for the DimSum Buffet but six sense told me its gonna fail.
Since everyone is nearly/already broke now including me.
Had spent 150% of my salary dy. yup much more than just over spend ==
wher it goes ? i dont know.

xxx

Dear saw it and yea.
Promises are made.
but since when, it actually means nothing to me.
it brings lies. it brings burden. it leads to hurting oneself.
=)

shall sleep now and yeap.
tomorrow is a better day

Days 49

What’s this feeling?
I don’t wanna care yet i kept thinking about it.
I wanna end this with nothing left between us but it always fail.
Don’t want to see you sad but im always the one who’s causing it.

The trust i put on you just not enough, but at the same moment i was actually hoping you to trust me and give me sometime.
Emm.. like how you can do it since u already gave me about 2weeks to get over it?
I wonder what makes i think im so important to you that you can sacrifice for me once and once again, but me? I had done nothing.
Wondering how much more you would go for me.

End it is the best way but my heart is aching when i have this thought in mind.
For your sake, i shall think it on your side. u wasted too many time on me, is that worth? what should i do? Aren’t there any better way?

It seems like i heart it more than i expected.
But yea, its too late.
Perhaps the chemistry within us had changed?
Hope not.

God knows how much i miss you.

Constantly think negative.

Constantly think negative.
=)

I shouldn’t behave like this. They won’t like to see me this way.
C’mon~ step out and get over yourself.
=)

I was with him last night.
He suddenly dragged me out from the bed ask me to get changed.
Was shocked, I don’t wanna out. But yea, don’t know how should I talk to him.
He stepped out and I was still hugging myself on bed.
Thinking what should I do to stay in the room?
Tell him im sick? Im tired? Im lazy? I mensus cp pain don’t want walk?
Don’t know how many minutes past till I heard the knock.

: enn ~ wait.

So what shud I wear ? the scars zz…1..2..3..4..5..6..7.. 7cuts~
Long sleeve~ short pant~ jacket..
That should be okay =)

I wonder where we are going. Are we going to meet them? Can I don’t meet them? I don’t want to face them yet. I really don’t.

Please come alone ya, thanks
Please come alone ya, thanks
Please come alone ya, thanks
Please come alone ya, thanks
Please come alone ya, thanks

I can’t get this out of my mind, how many troubles I had brought to them.
Izit my existence really too causing too much inconvenience to them?
no no ~ dear said its not.
He said just sometimes only, sometimes.. It depends on the situation as sometime they just wanna protect me from troubles. Yea maybe. I should trust him =)
Keep telling myself its ok its ok its ok.
It’s not as worst as I thought.
Everything is going to be fine as time flew.

We went mall, he intends to catch a movie but umm no..cinema hen duo ren I bu yao =/. He wants to buy me shoes which I always wanted to have, he wants to buy me cloths since i always complain i have no baju to wear, he wants to bring me go mac.D have my favorite fries since I haven’t eat for a day or more.

: lets go home can? Im tired… cp tong..
: nvm la I’ll drive around =)
: errr.. o.

He just couldn’t understand. I know he’s trying to cheers me up.
But why he is doing this suddenly? Bring me out unexpectedly, want to watch cartoon with me so suddenly. He’s guilty? bcause he had left me alone for few days? is this some sort of replacement? He’s never been doing this before. So ya, its just because he guilty so he doing this?
==.

Soon, we reached dear house oO. Face to face I don’t know what should I talk to him.

=)
Enn enn ~ smile is the best way to cover. Smile more and you won’t think more as well.
The unknown pressure makes me feel like crying so much again. Can feel my heartbeat goes wrong and it began to cramp again, ouch.

: I wait in the car k? =)

He said he just wanna takes something but soon I realize that everyone was in the car and we were ready to go kb tehteh. Shit..

They were talking, I was smiling =). They were talking about how much fun they had the night before, I was still smiling and thinking I been alone because he was told to go alone =). They were sharing about the story the night before, still the smile on my face while im touching my scar underneath the cloth feel the pain and speak to myself its ok, its over =).

Feel like crying so much at that moment.

Its ok, its ok.
Its not the 1st time nor last.
What goes around comes around.
Just face it.
Its ok =)
Just listen to them.
Its ok =)
Just talk to them.

Im gonna be alright as its just the matter of time. =)

Schizophrenia

hmm.
im not, not yet. don't worry.
but yea...almost.

i drove to his house.
instead of his car, i saw 4285 as well.
..
...

i know they were playing happily inside.
i was alone.

i know they were drinking siokly inside.
i was still alone.

can't stop thinking negative.
has he ever think about me ?
while he was drinking having fun, has he spare some tot about what have i been doing ?
am i alone? was i ok?

nope nope, i had nothing.

i drove around, i don't want to go back.
i don't want to stay in that room myself.
since our argument meant nothing for him, he sleeps as usual, he plays as usual.
what am i ?

why the fuck i stay awake for 2days. why the fuck i keep expecting him to reach me.

i lost, agen..
i was alone, it was dark. i turn turn and turn i don't know how to get out.
Finally there s one car passed by me i decided to follow him/her, i tot he/she may leads me out.
but its not.
He/she is going back home im still lost im still alone i don't know who can i call i don't know what can i do.
fuck.
cry cry cry.. what else ? cry... wtf.

somehow i manage to get back home.
sat infront of the mirror, facing the pp inside seeing how silly she was.
i talked to her, ask her stop waiting stop expecting.
Its time for her to know when to stop, when to learn to stand up herself.
she bites herself again, but its useless.
Tears are still falling, heart is still aching.

After all, im still alone.
god knows how much i hate to be alone.

what if im hurt, he cares ?
maybe~

She found a cutter, leave a small cut on her hand.
hurt...blood...but its not enough.
she has no guts to make it more deeper. it hurts.

Finally i've got his msg. we've been thru some quarrelled agen.
he said he wanted to sleep, asking me to sleep early as well.
like how ?
he actually can sleep pretty well under those conditions.
nice one.
i, like it..

The girl's inside the mirror, closed her eyes.
gave herself a another big cut without thinking.
ouch, it really hurts. it does.
yeap..bleed.. more blood more pain..thats what she needs.
=)

fuck, she so depraved.

Why the fuck that she is the only one who shivers alone in the night.
Did someone knows that she is really scare.
Did someone ever cares.


stop bleeding, stop crying.
just cant stop thinking.
cant stop sobbing.


xxx


the scar.. its so obvious..
feel no regret =)
i've to wear long sleeve now to cover it to prevent someone see it and cooked me up.
The red scars don't fit my skin at all.
=)

rest assured i wont do it anymore.
i mean umm, i 'll try my best of not doing it.
yea i still want my pretty nice skin.
Its too late now.
Just yea, as a lesson ba.


xxx


its late night again and im still alone.
where s him?
he s drinking. He asked me to sleep early and don't think too much.
teach me how and i'll give it a try.

i is single.

just msg-ed him. telling him we shud break
he didn reply still but doesnt matter =)

i know i never been a good gf but i've told him umpteen times

thats the way i am, u love me before, u will accept it now as well

So he actually can ignored me for 2days like this. Its holidays. He knows how much i hate and fear to be alone.
Nope, i cant deal with it.
So the best way comes up.
lets end it.

hmm~ so tomoro this blog will be half-private since then.

its hard for me to maintain a relation up t0 2 years plus.
feel nothing shi pian ren de, im not feeling easy with that neither.

well well~ stop fb-ing, on9-ing.
lets me out of this stuff for few days or what'
its raining heavily now, love it.

i shall be ok.
=)

Goodlucks peeps.
care's ~ pEiNii...

i didn crash the car

im back.
hmm....today is memorable.
for 1year 7months and 14days
today is the 1st time i kena road blocked, alone!
Showing my license and IC to the police and answer them those Official Question makes me feel like

Im.So.Adult

*winks*

and yea ~ their math sucks!
by showing my IC, there shud be a birth date right ?
1989 - 2009
obviously its 20years since there's both 9 as last number, i think even Michelle can do the counting
BUT
the police said:

Ohh~ sudah 21 ka..... bah ~ balik rumah lah.

HELLO ?!! as in 30secs before i just told him that i JUST came out from my RUMAH.

Fucktard yo !
zzzz whatever!!!

xxx

driving here n ther pointlessly is super boring. but super relax as well.
been living in brunei for 20years, what a shame
IM LOST.
in somewher gdg.

i drove along the highway off to Gdg. I dont know why i go there, its just...a must go, walaupun its already 2am and Bii Buu Bii Buu everywher ==zz sweat.
So yea i tot i can emm go ummmmm......the highway beside The Arch of the bigbig roundabout there.. =) but then i turned to the highway leading me to Seri instead.
mainly because i forgot there's no u-turn at highway, just trying to see the Sui Car.
but pp li hai~ sport car laii de~ win all~ pek dai me ther~ hai i butt oso didn bio dao but pusing a big round. Fuck the car, cp! till 1st branch eh..who pays for my petrol!

along the highway agen n yea i saw the roundabout and yeap turn left right to reach another roundabout in expectation. but then umm i saw many houses replacing those car galary which suppose to be seen.

dono why agen i didn follow the way back at 1st but pusing around the small road. yahoooo! im lost yiipeeeeeeeeeee! mummy~
IM SCARED OK. Its dark T__T.
feel like calling him for help le BUT my stupid pride stopped me.
Just My Luck, dont know why agen i suddenly pop out from somewher and back to the way where i wanted to be.

Heading back weehee.
Saw the bridge~ and yeap the turn left sign agen. It leads to Rimba there so why not xb
*Signboard - Tungku*
Yea baby~ i know this place well. the humps make me sasak.
1hump/50m = _l_
suan ~ lets go beach or empire.
Stopped at roadside, *thinking beli carefully* as if i know the way or not. i dont wanna get lost, i still wan my stupid pride. nvm~ go home den.
back to Jln Muara as well as My Di Pan n i turned in every simpang that i spotted a nice house, till mine <3

2hours of driving trip. end.

Once again..

Its another saturday.

I just woke up from a ummm not reali nice sleep. always dream something bad when im down. aiks ~ feel....not right.

i tot~ he 'll be here. i reali do.

They said i had changed, they said im getting too over.
why me?
im always like this.. did i not?
Just that ~ he chose to leave instead of staying like before.
He had changed.
=)

once agen i feel so lost.
i cant reach babe, i dont want to contact him n dem.
stucking up myself in the room =)
atleast i got my beibei~
yeap yeap, its ok to be alone..
=)

spotted the bruise.
I bite it..
It hurts but i feel so great with it. xD
Dont judge it, its just my way to umm stop the tears.
it works 100%.

hmm~
shall get myself a sweet sweet ribena and after that.
lets go out, its saturday and i got license dont i ?
go wher ? i dont know.. just drive ><

bEh crap!

EDITED!
to make it more crap !

since been staying home these 2days
i've got nothing to share.

zz

well ~
shud be learn how to create my own website soon.
=)
BCOZ
they're learning now. and im BELI BELI INTERESTED with it
but it shud take months to master it..
im lazy. im moody.

being a lil bitchy agen.
fucktard!!!

sien dao reali hui tulan de lo~

hmm~
they drink without me that day ==
so............................emm blur ><
hen xiang drink, hen xiang feel the drunk, hen xiang high..
but i just can understand their situation.
im a girl, my house is far.
i dont have my own car...........
cp!

too many things need to kept it myself

坚强 n 逞强
wu hamik difference?
as long as im enuf tough to face it~
zhen de ye hao jia de ye hao..
tmr means future.
we cant change the path we had been thru but we always 've the right to choose the path right infront of us right ~

yea yea ~ so crap !

xxx


Listening to Fuck You by Lily Allen

fuck uu ~ beli beli much ~!!
LOLS

weird song..

wat a life would be.
cant even got something to crap.
SIGH

Bodyslam - Ok Hak

♪♪ kwarm rak tong pang long pai
a nah kot tee soot go paan pon pai
lure ping hu jai tee yab yein
baht plai
munluk gurn yeow yah
teun jark fun
praw took plook dui nam tah
too ron too rai hu jai nui lah

pah wa nah hai jai tee jeb jom kem kaeng
mae mun ja rai riu rang
ja feun look yeun hi wai
kon kon diow mun mai mee sit ka nard nan
mi tam hi sham teung tai
yong ngai tong rub hi dai
chee wit kai don tuom rai
ta tee soot mun tong mai don tum lai
ka wun nee hu jai sa lai
teuan tu eng wa teung young ngai
chun yong tong yoo
kwarm rak lung lok mun ga ka jeb pu-ad
mai mee kah
hi mun tum lai chee wit mi dai

greed kan mei xuay arai
ying tok yum ying greed ying tum rai jai
ying tum tow rai go ying pud row

chee wit kai don tum rai
ta tee soot mun taung mai don tum lai
ka wun nee hu jai sa lai
teuan tu eng wa teung young ngai
chun yong tong yoo
kwarm rak lung lok mun ga ka jeb pu-ad
mai mee kah
hi mun tum lai chee wit mi dai

tong mi tai
chee wit yu mee proong nee sa mur ♪♪

eee ~

went to watch this SgMovie yesterday.
Honestly, reali hai okok eh..
looking forward on it so ~
yea..just knew that its divided into 3parts of story.

hmm~ blur the 1st part like the 2nd part duhh the 3rd part.

its ok luu~ worth for a laugh ^^

atleast i can understand most part of the hokkienss
xD




gotta sleep.
taa ~
hmm...so sick ><

^^

原来，
没有抱着任何希望的等，
比先前满怀期待的等待，
更伤人。

期待换来的只是失望，
没有希望换来的比失望还要....失望。

33

So we're reali walking to the end?
Calendar is not full yet.. Lots of alien language is written down on it for memories...hen sweet...hen nice....but actually it has been only ♥♥days.

Sad.

I dont want us to end it this way.. How much i wish that we could hold on a lil longer.
I just need somemore time to get rid of this cacated mood. Mensus is comin soon so yea~

what can i do? What else can i say to 've u back.
God knows how much i miss you..

><
still hearts as i reali do.

Cracking

stop thinking lots can?
Need chocosssss desperately to soothe the mood.

I need dark chocolates..
T T

sigh~ i shall stop thinking now or else this emo-ing gonna last whole september. Get myself exhausted is perfectly siok yo, atleast i would stop thinking at that moment but yea, get back to reality aint easy. What if u found that u're still facing the same situation, same tone, same atmosphere ^^"
sasaknya~

been watching youtube these 2days. those dance vids~ i miss it.
Miss that guy who used to pick me home and bought me my beloved coffee. Miss that someone who always by my side tahan-ing my murmur with his smile. Miss those dance troop peeps. Yea my bad, had gave up the chances to go back to dem. Im too old to high with those muiimuii and heard he s not there le ba? where he goes?

My head is effing ache now, wanna get high. lallala~

Talking bout high, i guess i reali 'chi ji guo du' sotx le.. I wanna had liquor like i always did with babe's. Wanna try soak k to experience the feeling of walking in space with no gravity. Wanna had pills and feng my head nonstoply shouting WOOOHOOOO! Flirt dance with some cuties~ ONS with dem and prepare to get slap till i totally awake.

gosh~ feel like smoking so much.

Slap me can?

Im way too much over.
I love them.
But since when i cant satisfied with this kind of life. tehteh, play, play, tehteh, tehteh agen and play.
No no~ i wanna bang pp car so badly. Crash their mirror, flat their tyres. Yahoo~! y i so bad?

He drives fast while we otw back yest. As i suddenly wished that i could drive myself make it full speed and drive 'toward' the tree ^^
weeeheee~

wonder who 'll come visit me in the hospital ho, or perhaps funeral.. Hmm~ will dem cry? How funny to see 'em cry lols..

Insanity is too high.
Love being a weirdo.

I just need somemore care and love from you and anything will do.

Atm, i see nothing.

=)
hearts u much.

sad-the-day

=)
Its saturday.

Weeheee~ im hanging myself with my mood.
dying soon.
Please listen carefully to my last word.


PLEASE
SAVE ME !!!!!!!!!!

i don wanna die yet.

im still learning. xD
Atleast i just learned to how to emmmmmm tolerate ^^

whatsoever.
Feel like blogging but nothing to update tho.
Gonna get some DVD and watch, and the currently movie in mind is ~~~~~
TADAA
IM LEGEND !

zz
ee ~ arnahhs old school jiu old school
NI GUAN WO!

wait dem pick me up luu~
i'll enjoy my night, so do uu..
im sorry.
=)

xxx

edited
Just 've aiixing test

如果你失戀了，你去傷心診所治療，你會接受哪一種治療呢？

ans: 2.催眠你讓你釋放

你的感情容易因為「對方的熱度降低」而告吹。
沒有安全感的你一旦對方行為舉止有異狀，你就會胡思亂想產生誤會：這類型的人一但發現另一半比較冷淡或者愛理不理，亦或是手機沒有接...等等就會開始胡思亂想。

thats wher i up to now ?
lolx
fucktard~

♪♪ It's Like This (This) It's Like That (That)
I Got Dough (Dough) I Got Stacks (Stacks)
I Can't Buy Anything That I Need (Need)
But I Gotta Have U 4 Free
I Ain't Neva Paid 4 It In My Life (My Life)
So Why The Hell Would I Pay 4 A Wife (Wife)
I Need Luv (Luv) Yes I Do (Do)
But This Is Wat I Need From U

Ooh A Brother Need Luv And Affection
A Brother Need TLC
And I Talkin Bout Chilli (Chilli)
But I'll Take Chilli If She Want It
Ooh A Brother Need Cookin And Cleanin
And When She Say She Luv Me She Mean It
Her Insides Pretty (Pretty)
Hey Hey Hey

And If That's U (U)
Blow Me A Kiss (Kiss) 2 Let Me Know (Know)
If U Feelin Me U Can Do Better (Hey)
Than That Scrub That U With (Than Scrub That U With)
Baby All That U Gotta Do (Gotta Do) Is Blow Me A Kiss
Hey Hey
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss

I'm Bout This (This)
I'm Bout That (That)
I Had Hoes (Hoes)
(I Spent Stacks) Stacks
I've Had Everything In My Life (My Life)
But I'm a Have U Tonight
Yeah I'm a Have U... U...
I Need Luv (Luv) Yes Indeed (Deed)
But This Is Wat U Get From Me (From Me)

Ooh I'm a Give U Luv And Direction
U Can Be My? I Ain't Talkin Bout Thriller (Thriller)
But I Could Be Your Thriller If U Want It
Ooh I Don't Need No Cookin And Cleanin
We Can Get A Maid If We Need It
Cause I'm On My Brizz-ed (Brizz-ed)
Hey Hey Hey

And If That's U (U)
Blow Me A Kiss (Kiss) 2 Let Me Know (Know)
That U Diggin Me (Diggin Me) U Can Do Better (Hey)
Than That Scrub That U're With (Than Scrub That U're With)
Baby All That U Gotta Do (Gotta Do) Is Blow Me A Kiss
Hey Hey
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da-Da Da-Da
Da-Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da
Blow Me A Kiss ♪♪

Git Fresh - Blow Me A Kiss

fuck you <3

I'll Never Let You Go <3

If i had one wish boy
i'd wished u next to me
and it could be in summer fall or spring boy
cos u make my heart sing

i want to give my heart, my soul, my love to u my baby
and everyday im not with u im missing you like crazy~

i need for you to

love me~
hold me~
touch me~

down deep in my soul
never let it go
For the love we share, no one compares to u.
I'll never let you go, cos i reali love u so~
i'll never let u go~

mm~

you must know the truth boy, im nothing without uu.
Its funny how i know what pp mean boy
when its too good to be truth

u give me joy, good love, good times
such happiness~ ooh yeahh yeahh
and everyday i thank the lord for you
i feel so blessed !

I need for ya~

if u only knew, what you reali do
i had never found a one that does it quite like u do
i've been spend half a life time try to find one like you.
Thats why im so glad i found u babe

i wished upon a star and it came true
darling~ i need for you....

<3

^^

tadaa ~
Just back from RF.
❤

CM ~ her skills is pretty wooo~ but then..macam reali kbl wor... hmmm
so ~ wat shud i use leh ? reali wana training new de le lar eeee
Lina ~? MAIII! tao yen lina ><

aiya whatever~

xD

Plan Plan.

umm umm~
wanna go for the DimSum buffet ! yummy nehs ~!!
Ha gao~ wait for me kk ? xD xD !!!!

okk maii siao 1st. need to buy liqour nehs.
see how luu

umm umm~
wanna go watch movie oso
Final Destination ? no no
i wan watch de Where Got Ghost !
<3
SEE HOW LUU.
hmmf chou niv !

umm umm~
once agen i forgot what to blog.
was in my mind bout 5mins ago.
its lost now.
eee ~
siens weh.

wanna go seria ba !
HEHEHEHEHEHE
just found "someone" who willing to bring me go ! YAHOOOOOOOO.com!
^^V

>.<

Inhale~ exhale~..
Phew..

Such a emo month. Haven been stop being so emotional till then. ><

relation stuff~ fan.

Suddenly feel so great to be single. It might be siens a bit but atleast it needs not to worry bout the umm~ yea you know == watever that is bad la..

I never know how to fly a kite ?

Wan fly? Fly la ! I can get a new one instead hmmf, so suffer zomo? pull by force only 'll get hurt ba? ouchie~ T T

its always easier to lose a relation but hardly to make one..
Seeing that humans' are bad. If he/her tends to 'dislike' uu, whatever u say whatever you did whatsoever u trying to do, eventho u doing it just to grab a smile or acknowledge from them.
THEY STILL DONT GIVE A GODAMNSHIT ABOUT IT !

So what!
Whatever u said is shit shit shit
whatever u act is fake fake fake
whatever u did is fuck fuck fuck !
even whatever u think oso fei fei fei !

No big deal what! Bcoz
ben xiao jie
I,
jiu shi like dis treat him de HAHAHA!
Oops bad me~

i've got this feeling before. i know, it hurts.

but now i finally understand why they just cant stop with all those satirize and sarcasm.
Its just umm, human nature haha !

Nonetheless, give 'em some same question, eventho the result is same.
the compliment always goes better on their love one but for uu, its just a umm kalokness.
Bias eh ><

shut the crap geez.
So~ if umm my temper goes on like this. We shud be walk ourselves to end before the end of 2009.
Hmm, im not the type who can tolerate so ya..wat to do?

Its ok nahs.
Xmas is coming beli soon <3
used to spend my xmas with different bfren zz. Im not keen with it okay its just accident.
Since then i had spend 2 xmas with him, maybe its time to change a new one or perhaps, spend the night myself with liquor xD

gusgus~ i NEED liquor ! T T

seriously, i dont want it ends just like this.
But what else can i do?
We just cant understand each other.
Altho we 've been for 2years.
its just too hard.

Whatever~ ^^v

ship till bridge head auto straight !
Gambai desu! Sake~ aaaAhh!

lolli lolli lolli pop o lolli o pop pop..

this song is just non-stop repeating struggling my ear drum..

zz

hmmm.
had been mull over this thru days so yea.
decided to private this blog half half.
why so ~?
take a look at your umm right =)
it hurts me.

It reali does.

what if this blog belong to someone u wanna pong lp so much.
hmm will the situation change ? will it be a different story ?
i believe will do.
It just too mean for me to accept.

Tried to cheat over myself that its just because our world is not connected.
but you know its not just because of that
we hold the right ourselves do we ?

whatever.

Half half means umm. Maybe gonna "open" for all readers and sometimes will not.
depends on my bloody swing mood.

still thinking tho.
cz its not good to zi yan zi yu, super siok sendiri walaupun it doesnt has any difference now as well.

Thanks god.

I just love you so much.

I reali do.

=)

It just wont stop
its been awhile that i last cry so badly.

Im tired of waiting le.
But what i do is wait wait wait and another disappointment.
Why the fuck am i doing dis.

Seems like we both can clearly understand now whos the one who was actually playing with this.
Can u trust me now?
When can i trust you?

It would be the next morning when you see this.
and yeap, i shud be ok when time by then.

=)
just too down atm.

T__________________T

ouch. leg si beh pain can.

gonna get myself a new shoes 1st instead of getting a new phone.
ouchhie ~
T__T tong tong.

booo! si beh alasan.
okay, im not dreaming.
i reali saw my lappy that day. but then according lai's statement,

its still cacat !

So yeap, new lappy is wanted T______T
bei ai ~ im si beh broke le nahs. guo fen !

so umm ~ probably gonna take that ACER

- $1000++
- 3years warranty
- emm, dono who said its mainly for gaming !

SIGH !

fucktard.. =___________________________________=


wanna play GG.
but no pp pei. sad
Dear goes for the bball. they 2 ther playing cha pa lang psp games.
He's having seriious match now.

eee ~
sien de wor.

xxx

wan shopping no money
wan buy phone no chance
wan buy lappy no money
wan buy shoes no nice de
wan go seria no pp bring
wan play no pp pei

wan fuck got pp not !
come la !
cp.
what a day !

ouchie~ T___________T

nomanomaKhem~

Hmm~
sleep in the evening yesterday n i tot i saw my lappy ?
I can still clearly rmb thats my wallpaper.

-sexy Pucca wearing a sexiest bikini ever that can only cover her nipples with no breast under a big big umbrella on the beach with very hot sun and drinks with small small umbrella for deco.
And yeap she's smiling at me telling me 'I IS BACK' with her lovely black round eyes.-

But then just when i rmb the scene i cant find my lappy no where when i got home.
Izit a dream or wat?
Hmm~

but seriously~ if i've got my lappy back.
Can i GG ?
Its not fixed yet ok, i mean umm. Its taken to the technician but then it works properly worr~?
No black out, no cacatness.. Everything went smooth.
So yi ~ IF it reali comes back to me le, can i GG ? Will the same problem happens agen ?

He targets a Acer for me. He says is better be good to got a new one.. It only costs me $1000+ with 3YEARS warranty plus the spec is not that bad. Even better than the one i using now zz
but acer ==
u know what i trying to say
i want Sony can?
Shall think carefully.

xxx

dear is having match later on at seria
Seria = 1hour plus journey = waste fuel
but i wana go kap zai support him so badly.
Plus its saturday worr must be many lengzai supporter there wor and it sure gonna pumps me up so much <3>an ming shi ><


xxx


winks =b

sniff.

look at the time now and im still wide awake.

fucktard.

Seriously, i NEED to sleep now to prevent from becoming a deadmeat tomoro.
Geez..

Had too much nescafe recently and my sickness is started to fa zuo agen. Not so often but just now ? thats why i wake up ?

日有所思，夜有所梦

been thinking too much and ee dream something bad.
maii maii ~ shooo.
i dont like that feeling.

mood is down. It went up abit, and fell again lols.
Because im too siens ><
Siens till i think dao i'll be more siens later den i geng geng siens !!

shud try to sleep soon. Its 4.30am yo

><

Hearts much much, Hugs tight tight
xoxo

sigh.

Why mood can swings so fast de.

The more u expect the more u get hurt.
Shudn expecting so much de, see what im like now?
A super dump idiot

blogging is certain nice to spare tots. But then, wat would u do if u dont want that someone noe but yet they do read ur blog..
Maii blog?

but kek zhe reali beli xin ku neh~ specially when u 've no one to speak with..

SIGH !!

Yet i heard, my lappy is okay now. That shud bring me a lil comfort.

Heartx is fallen

cacated short update

Lists to do.

-re-link/re-arrange de bloglist

-change the background when i rmb my username and pass.

-create a new header that suits this blog but not hamtam a pic.

-a better profile

-emm something cute.

-re.edit the skin for a better view

-try new widget,get a free feedjit.

-had 5pkt of fries at Mac.D ><

-stop dreaming that i can do all this within a month.

Its head of the month and i still slacking my ass off like i had nothin to do.

Actually im waiting to get fired by ladyboss and go work as a part-time at ezy printing with my lovely Ah mu. Why? To learn PHOTOSHOP for free~!

Heartx max max, maii keep clicking k? n maii tou laugh~ <3

Boo~

Booooooo~

xxx

tadaa!
went to the new boutique at seri qlap just now

d.Brandon

its emm nice ~ ><
just take a look and yea.
speechless lols
btw, i bought a pant full with zip so make sure u dont buy a same one as i did.

sounds so crap doesnt it ?

gonna start dealing with this blog
eee
siens.

<3


xxx

and peeps.

drive carefully

don so late back

don go out kap loi or kap zai le

maii go out hiao too zoi

TAKE CARE Y'ALL

its spooooookyy
~~

sigh.

been into some sort of arguing agen.
lols, shudn be so emotional so soon right.
ahems.

He doesnt like that i behaving like this, but ofcoz luu ~ which boy likes to see their love one flirting around with others . Geez

I cant explain anything yet i know what im doing.

I only can say, its my life its me its my way. Im always like this and this is not the 1st time doesnt it?

Was actually hoping that he can understand whats the feeling of emm no hope?
We always argued over small matter and emm as i said, he always pretended nothing happened.
Im so fucked with it
So yea, this time i 'll see how much u 'l go for it to save this relation or can u continued to pretend nothing happen as usual =)
my patient had gone beyond de limit.

im bad for sure~ but i reali dont want our relation ended up because of those matters.

There's nothing else i can do with my temper so yea..

Dear said you 've no item not even an ironwood branch asked me stop bullying uu. But well~
we're on the same team same boat so farm yourself to get those items. You know how much you need might as well how much i need to win this game.

Yeap~ eventho we lose the game.. I wont go for him =) he doesnt even need me..

U say u wont read here nomore but i know you would for some sort of update..
Since we cant communicate well.. Yea just read it..

<3

i need shopping !!